UNT Effective Business Writing & Editing 2019 Adobe Email Usage Study Discussion

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According to the 2019 Adobe Email Usage Study, which surveyed 1,002 U.S. adults in July 2019, the average adult spends 209 minutes per day (more than 3 hours) checking work email each day. How does this relate to concise writing? Because of the overwhelming number of emails, the average time to scan an email is 8-11 seconds. That’s right, the average person takes 8-11 seconds to scan your email to determine if it is worth reading.

If you want to others to read your email correspondence, write concisely with clear meaning.

For this assignment, read the following 20 sentences and then edit/rewrite each sentence to:

  • Eliminate redundant words
  • Eliminate filler words
  • Remove vague nouns
  • Construct active sentences

Each sentence must retain the original meaning but in a more succinct manner.

All 20 sentences must be edited or rewritten in order to receive the 10 participation points.

ORIGINAL SENTENCES

  1. In spite of the fact that our budget for advertising is now higher, our sales figures have not gotten any better.
  2. In the event of an emergency, such as a fire or earthquake, please exit the building as soon as you possibly can.
  3. We currently have several available job openings for a variety of positions in our Sales department.
  4. The reason I’m having trouble with my computer is because the antivirus has not been updated at all recently.
  5. We consider the candidate to be a very good fit for either of the two positions.
  6. As we discussed during our previous phone call, the shipping charges on your next order with us will be waived.
  7. We are now in the process of evaluating how to address the issue that exists regarding the performance of our team members.
  8. Our researchers carried out interviews with several people who are professionals in the health care industry.
  9. Please change the information on your employee profile to include the most recent information.
  10. We would like to offer congratulations to all the people who participated in and completed the training program.
  11. We certainly hope this decision won’t have a negative impact on the reputation of our firm.
  12. Basically, what the training program is going to do is prepare each and every one of the participants for their certification test that they will take soon.
  13. Could you recommend to us someone in the area who works as a contractor?
  14. There is a possibility that I might get together with some of the people in my MBA program this weekend.
  15. She is professional, courteous, and she always comes to work on time.
  16. The problem was addressed at our meeting that we have every week.
  17. Please talk to John and tell him about the benefits of the deal and that he should accept it.
  18. The primary role of our recruiters is to search for and locate professionals with good qualifications who live in our area.
  19. Carlos speaks English fluently, and can also speak Portuguese at an intermediate level, and in addition he is capable of conversing in German.
  20. It’s a really excellent opportunity and one that you should definitely take advantage of.

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